People Who Wear White Lab Coats Seen As Credible Medical Professionals, Study Shows

A recent published study in the New London Journal of Medicine correlated intelligence perception with white laboratory apparel.

Berkeley, CA—A recent study has shown an association of perceived intelligence and the donning of white laboratory apparel with as much as a 45 point increase in perceived IQ.

COLOR PLAYS A FACTOR
"We had no idea that was why people were taking us so seriously," said Standford researcher Noah Whiley.  "Every time we put on white lab coats and took pictures while presenting our findings, the information was perceived to be true and accurate.  Every time we had pictures of us in business suits or no images were included with the data, all of our studies were dismissed as fodder."

In the study, Scientists of every discipline experienced similar findings of increased intelligence perception as long as the coats were white. With colored lab coats, blue and black, negative intellectual perception was experienced. Color played a factor in the perceived knowledge of the wearer. Blue coats were correlated to animal intelligence and black lab coats were tied to sinister undertones. 210 out of 280 respondents correlated evil intentions with professionals wearing black lab coats and trust coefficients were practically non-existent.

TRIPLE-BLIND STUDY PROVES THEORY
Indeed, the study may ring as accurate.  More than 59% of respondents in a randomized, triple-blind study (a triple blind study is where the patient, the doctor, and the reporting agency have no idea what the data represents) valued the information presented as valuable and credible by someone dressed in a standard, white, full-length lab coat.

LAB COAT LENGTH PLAYS A FACTOR
Dr. Whiley added, "We also found that there was a sweet spot with the length of the lab coat.  Too long, and it looked like The Matrix and the perceived intelligence declined.  Too short and it started to reflect sexist undertones.   Just below the knee was just perfect for maximum perceived intelligence."

MPI:  HOW MUCH WEIGHT IS GIVEN TO AN OPINION
Maximum Perceived Intelligence (MPI) is the coefficient of perceived intellectual value of a given fact.  Celebrity Jenny McCarthy, prior to her anti-vaccination claims, had an MPI of 19 which gave her opinions on vaccinations so much influence.  Now, McCarthy's MPI has lowered to just 4 which is slightly above a zoo primate with Trisomy 21.